10/4/15 The Tiki Bar

Mom survived the party with the Outlaws yesterday, and took her “revenge” on Dad today by making him complete the Tiki bar. Not that she didn’t let him watch the football game, but still. Today was a day of “recreational working”.

This isn’t exactly a how-to, but I want you all to know that I supervised this project very closely.

To recap, first Dad procured some pallets from his job (free) and the humans painted them with some deck paint.

Once dry, they moved them to the basement where Dad assembled them in a semi-L shape. I say “semi L” because the pieces weren’t completely flush for stability purposes.

Dad got out his handy power screwdriver. It’s noisy, but gets the job done.


Mom doesn’t like the sound of the drill – too much like the dentist.


As you can see, I’m keeping a close eye on Dad.

Once the pallets were stabilized, Jamie stapled on some grass skirting that the humans bought at the hobby store in the party section. The grass table skirts were about $6.

Dad and Mom went to the home improvement store, and bought a kitchen counter that was a little over five feet in length. At about $44, this was the most expensive part of the Tiki bar. Dad and Mom attached the counter to the skirted pallets with L brackets and screws.

Mom finished decorating the Tiki bar with things she’d bought at the dollar store. She took the stools from the kitchen that weren’t being used for the front of the bar. In total, the bar cost about $65 to make.


Because Mom hung a boogie board (also from the dollar store) behind the bar, she christened it, “The Boogie Board Bar”.

Here’s Dad, Erik, and Jamie all smiling for the camera! Everyone listened to some Hawaiian slack-key guitar music and had some refreshments.


On the other side of the basement, Dad put up the inflatable hot tub. We’re going to fill it next week!

Mom says it will be summer forever in the house. She says she’s very proud of everyone for getting this project accomplished (and for under $80, too!)

Woof! Love, Maggie

Ding, Dong, Ditch

I’ve mentioned before how we live in the last house on the cul-de-sac next to the woods.

Mom, Jamie, and Erik all helped put up the Halloween decorations (also previously mentioned), including a six and a half foot Dachshund wearing a mask with three owls in hats perched on his back, and a banner reading, “Happy Halloweiner”. Right now, our house is kind of noticeable, since not many people have decorated yet around here.

Dad wasn’t home from work. Mom had just posted something about the Jerome/Joker character on “Gotham” when the doorbell rang. We have a sign up that says, “No Solicitors” but apparently, no one knows what that word means, and we also have a sign that says, “Dog On Premises”. This did not deter our late-night doorbell ringer, who stood silently when Mom yelled, “Who is it?” How creepy is that on a dark night next to the woods?? And the side porch. Anyone could be lurking on the side porch. Mom looked through the window but couldn’t see a thing. Did I mention it was very dark?

SOMEONE was out there, and every hair on my back stood on end to prove it. I barked lustily (I like that word) and growled with all my might. Mom screamed through the door that she would call the police. Jamie came downstairs in his gym shoes, armed with a tennis racket. I guess we made enough noise that our evening caller decided to vanish into the woods.

Ding dong ditch, indeed! These darn Halloweiners.

Woof! Love, Maggie the Protectress


Just a note from Liz

Hello, everyone.

As many of you who read Maggie’s blog are aware, I have somewhat of a ticklish – to say the least – relationship with my in-laws.

I was advised that Grandma (Jim’s mom), who turned 90 years old this week, has begun hospice care, and the prognosis is around six months for her. She has dementia, (which I wouldn’t wish on anyone), and heart issues, and is just shutting down over time.

The cousins are having a party for her this weekend. I don’t know if she’ll remember it, but I think it’s a good thing to do, to bring the family together while she is still with us.

However, I’m still really stressed out about going to this party. I would appreciate any good thoughts sent this way over the weekend.


Maggie’s Mom, Liz

10/3/15 The Fireplace

It’s cold in here. It’s cold outside. The sun is shining, and there’s a stiff October wind blowing.

Mom walked over to the corner of the room where the big and little Witches Brooms hang (the big one is for long trips, the small one, for just going to the corner store and back). She flicked a switch and the glass pane that I’d never noticed lit up and an awful stench filled the house.

Mom opened up all the windows and gave me a blanket. She explained that the fireplace hadn’t been used in a number of years, and she had to burn off the dust and cobwebs and yucky smell. So the windows had to be open since it’s a good, breezy day. BRRRRR!

Dad said to let the fireplace burn (it’s a gas fireplace, Mom would have liked the real thing) for about four hours to get rid of the smell, and while she was at it, why not turn the oven on, too (it got a little dirty from Erik’s party). Mom said, “No way, Maggie and I have to smell this stuff!” So the oven will wait for another day.

As for me, I threw off the blanket and headed upstairs to make a nest in Mom and Dad’s freshly-made bed. Muahahaha! When she closes the windows, I’ll come downstairs.


Woof! Stay snuggly. Love, Maggie

10/1/15 I Will NOT Be Clothed!

Today, Mom took Jamie for his chiropractic adjustment. Jamie’s back and neck had been kind of “jacked up” as you humans would say, from lugging around extensively heavy backpacks. (They now have a laptop system at school so he doesn’t have quite as much of a load to drag around).

Anyway, I don’t know if the chiro appointment released some endorphins or what on Jamie, but he sure is acting loopy. Like, for instance, they stopped at the grocery store for milk, apples, and the impulse item – cookies. Mom told Jamie to bag the things up and he proceeded to place the gallon jug of milk in a bag. “Mmm, hon, you don’t have to bag the milk,” Mom said with a grin.

“Here are the apples,” Jamie said politely, handing Mom the box of cookies. “I believe those are called, ‘cookies’,” Mom replied, trying to keep a straight face.

This kind of good-natured bumbling went on all night until Mom asked Jamie to get her a glass of almond milk while she folded clothes. Mom’s tummy is mighty sensitive to cow’s milk, so she’s drunk around to find an alternative. Helping herself to a cookie, Mom drank away half the glass of milk before gasping, “Oh, no, you’ve given me dairy milk!” Jamie went red in the face and stammered out an apology. Mom should be LOTS of fun in just a little while!

Anyway, back to the title of this blog. Before Mom got thirsty and drank the milk, she was putting up Halloween decorations and found my unused “Rufferee” costume (complete with a little flag) from last year. “Come here,” she said sweetly, and the next thing I knew I was buffaloed into … a shirt! A costume shirt at that!

I darted into the living room, bucking like a bronco and trying to tear the shirt off. However, the sleeves went over my front legs. I lay down and tried to scratch the darn thing off to no effect:


Finally, Mom said, “It’s no use” and took the shirt off. Immediately I tried to snatch it from her and chew it, but she whisked it away. I will NOT be clothed!

After Mom put away the costume shirt, she said I was smirking at her from my spot on the couch. She said I “winked” at her and “nodded my head” to her like I was saying, “hey”. I firmly deny such behavior.

Ah, bring on the trick or treaters, but no costumes for this girl!

Woof! Love, Maggie

9/27/15 A Home Show

Today, my human Erik hosted a “Pampered Chef” home show. I had never seen a home show before, and I was anxious to see just what would happen.

Turns out, it was very interesting! The P.C. lady came to the house, dragging bags and bins behind her, and got things all set up on the table. Soon Erik’s guests arrived. Everyone was given jobs to do: slicing, dicing, chopping, mincing, shredding. Everyone worked at the table, even though they were strangers to each other. It was nice to see all the humans cooperating.

Pretty soon the house started smelling good!

Then everyone sat down and ate the food they had prepared, using the “Pampered Chef” materials.

Erik played the part of Host With the Most to a “T”. Mom and Dad took turns holding my leash and watching over me. The human guests laughed and talked and had a great time. In between, they paid me compliments and gave pats and ear scratches. I gave tail wags and kisses in return.

Dad and Jamie sampled the food, but Mom only sampled the rice and a tiny bit of cake since she doesn’t eat meat and is trying to limit sweets.

What I liked about this home show was the way everyone worked together to create a meal.

What I did not like about this home show was that the cookware appears to be overpriced. Erik does get some products for free, however.

What I really liked about this show was that I got to eat the leftover chicken breast mixed in with my kibble!

I am looking forward to Erik receiving his free gifts from “Pampered Chef” so that he can cook some more, and make me a pampered pooch!


Love, Maggie

9/27/15 The Massage, and a Gala Event

My good human friend Laurel has started Massage Therapy School. Mom was delighted when Laurel offered to come over and practice a bit.

I greeted Laurel ecstatically at the door, but she was not here for a walk. She had a ginormous, square, bag with her that proved to be a portable massage table.

Quick as a wink, she’d set it up and Mom climbed up and lay face-down on the table.

I very, very, much wanted to lie down with my human. But all I could get was two paws on top of the table. “Silly girl!” Laurel laughed when she saw me scrambling, trying to get up there.

Finally, I gave up that tactic and went around to the front, where lo and behold! I spied Mom’s face, downward towards the floor in this pillow-like thing.

Naturally, I scooted underneath and gave her big kisses to let her know I’d still be here when she climbed down off the table. Then I sat on the couch to wait.


smoochie, smoochie! You can’t go anywhere, Mom!

When Laurel was done, Mom felt in tiptop shape. I swear, she must be part dog because Mom seemed to like getting her back rubbed, just like I do. Mom told Laurel thank you about a million times and wished her good luck in school. Laurel is already very talented and can only improve from here!

Another sneaking suspicion I have that Mom is part dog (aside from her being able to smell everything) is the issue of her ears. Her hearing, to be precise.

Last night, Mom and Dad attended an 80th Gala of the shelter where I was adopted from. Mom and Dad got dressed up in their nice clothes and out they went. I thought for sure I was going in the crate, and cowered a little, but Mom and Dad left me with Jamie, who was going out with Erik a little while later. So, for the moment, I was safe from the crate. I like being with Jamie. He took me outside and later gave me a belly rub.

Before I knew it, Mom and Dad were home! Mom had a distressed look on her face. It turns out that the Gala had hired a band to play during and after dinner, and the band was VERY LOUD. Some of the older guests were seen putting their hands over their ears. Mom said when she got out of there, her ears were ringing. The Gala had been nice enough, but Mom had been disappointed. Only one other couple sat at their table, and the photographer refused to take pictures of the empty table. Not all the seats were filled, and that made the band seem louder because of the echo effect. So, realizing she and Dad were not going to be able to have any conversation, my human parents ate, put their raffle tickets in, excused themselves, and left.

Mom asked Dad not to play the radio in the car and to turn the TV off at home. She said she couldn’t take any more noise. Then they took off their nice clothes and put on pj’s, made some coffee, and played a game of Scrabble instead. Mom heaved a sigh of relief at being home, and Dad patted Mom’s hand and said he was sorry.

I was happy to see them, and they were happy to see me, and I didn’t go in the crate at all. Because after they came home and changed, Erik and Jamie went out.

After treats and snuggles, I went to sleep on my chair while my parents enjoyed the quiet and played their game.

All’s well that ends well, I guess.

Woof! Love, Maggie