9/10/15 The Jesters Festers, and the New Collar

We have a lawn service to keep the front, side, and back yard, trim and clean. They just cut the grass, and do not do weeding or bush trimming or any other thing of that nature. This frosts Mom’s cookies (we have a pretty good-sized lot, all told), because she thinks it is unreasonable to employ someone to just to cut the grass.  Mom calls these lawn people the Festers, but lately, she’s been calling them, “The Jesters”.

Dad thinks the Jesters are funny. Dad has a strange sense of humor. The Jesters have flooded our basement by cutting our hose with their powerful lawn mower, and this flooded our window well and hence the basement. They’ve cut open a couple of our seasonal “pop up” pools. They’ve destroyed dozens of solar lights, and at least two of my tie-down tethers for when I’m out back. Dad says to Mom, “Don’t say anything. I want to see what they will do next.” Mom thinks Dad is nuts.

When Mom put up the latest casualty, she mentioned to one of the Jesters that the tie-down was right here (indicates in the grass) and said, “I wouldn’t want you to mess up your nice lawn mower.” Said Jester then ran right over it. Again and again. The tie-down, which should support dogs up to 150 pounds, began to lean over at a crazy angle. After a couple of weeks, Mom began to worry, and upon further inspection, noticed that the rubber-coated, wire cable had been tied in knots in a couple of places to hide where it had been sliced in two. Mom mentioned to Dad we might need yet another tie-down. “Ha-ha-ha-ha!” Dad laughed. The Jesters were doing their job.

Jamie built a nice bonfire the other night when it was a little bit cool. We all went out to enjoy it, and Dad put me on the tether. Mom raised an eyebrow. The humans took their seats and all admired Jamie’s nice, bright, fire. Everyone relaxed.

Suddenly, out of the bushes of the side yard, one of those feral kitties came bounding out! Quick as a flash, I jumped up to give chase. Snap! Went the plastic fastener on my collar. Snap! Went the wire cable. Snap! I bolted through the fence, making a large hole, only to realize a split second later that I was a) out of the yard, and b) my collar was gone. By this time, the humans were on their feet, hollering and chasing and waving their arms. I slunk back to the fence, feeling naked without my collar.

The humans used a lantern to find my broken collar. There was just enough of the plastic fastener to hold me if I didn’t pull. I was feeling sheepish, so I didn’t pull.

Jamie ran around to the side yard and clicked the collar on. Then he gently put on the leash and put me in the house to cool my paws while the humans went back to the bonfire.

The next morning, Mom surveyed the tie-down. It was completely out of the ground. She grit her teeth, and went out to the big box store to buy another.

Dad, meanwhile, wasn’t laughing so hard anymore. He bought me a new collar with a pretty bow on it, and he made sure the fastener was metal. You can see the bow better in the second picture.

Woof! Love, Maggie




8 thoughts on “9/10/15 The Jesters Festers, and the New Collar

  1. youretheworst

    Glad you’re still here, Maggie!

    I had a friend who owned a house with a HUGE yard. He had the exact same problem your family has been having. After speaking with the landscaping crew several times and being assured they’d be more careful in the future, they continued to wreck his yard.

    After they ruined a brand new irrigation system, he allowed them to mow the yard one more time before firing them. Unbeknownst to them, he’d placed tent spikes in strategic areas that would have been easily avoided if they’d cared the slightest bit about following his wishes.

    Just an interesting anecdote…;)


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