Tag Archives: bath

The Sweaty Freak

Mom took advantage of the in-between storms to give me a bath.  She noticed my tummy was very broken out with allergies and the backs of my legs were, too.  Soon I was standing in the walk-in shower, covered with apple-scented oatmeal shampoo.  I always stand very still and quiet in the bath, but when I get out, it’s Hairy Bullet time!  I always go crazy without my collar on.

First I gave myself several good shakes.  Then I found a bone to grab (this shot is right before I took off):


You can see the look of pure mischief on my face!

Mom had a basket of laundry she was folding.  Now, people have a lot of different names for these kind of T-shirts:


But Jamie refers to them as “sweaty freaks” (as in, “When I wear one, I feel like a sweaty freak!”)  Casually, I snatched the Sweaty Freak from the laundry basket and took off like a bottle rocket upstairs.  I ripped around, leaving gauge marks in the carpet.  Whoo-hoo!  I’m naaaaked without my collar!

Finally, Jamie retrieved the Sweaty Freak (which had to go back into the laundry) and I went into Guard the House mode:


I like this shot, because you can see my muscles.  Dad says I’m getting fat but he should talk.  The other day, he accidentally put on one of Jamie’s T-shirts (not a sweaty freak) but you should have seen what he looked like.  He was all, “I’ve got to lose weight” then when Jamie told him it was his shirt he’s all, “Let’s get ice cream.”

I’m almost dry now, so Mom’s going to put my collar on soon.  Woof!

Love, Maggie


3/9/14 The Dirty Bullet

Let me start out by saying, “It wasn’t my fault.”

I did not tell that rabbit to park his fuzzy-tailed behind on my (MY!!!) front lawn last night.  And even though I barked and barked and barked my head off at him from the big window in the dining room, he just stared at me and didn’t move.  What cheek!

I hadn’t forgotten about the rabbit today.  So, while Mom was at a meeting, Dad let me out in the back and I picked up the scent. 

Pretty soon I was running back and forth “border patrol” style by the fence, hot on my quarry.  Dad shouted at me to come back into the house, but I ignored him.  That was a mistake, because Dad is the Alpha and he came out with my lead and got me, and promptly popped me into the crate.  I knew it was coming because I didn’t listen.  Mom came home and was very surprised when I did not greet her because I was doing time.

Mom let me out after checking with Dad.  I was still feeling feisty and grabbed one of Dad’s shoes and ran upstairs with it.  Jamie is getting quick these days, and in short order had the shoe back in his hand.  More dirty looks from Dad.  They didn’t understand that I was pretending the shoe was the rabbit.  He was still fresh in my mind!

After a quick dinner, Mom scouted (as best she could, humans can’t see well in the dark – poor things) out the back yard and told Jamie, “She’s got to have a potty break but I don’t want her chasing that rabbit!”  Mom let me out and I took care of business quickly, then sniffed around and shot through the fence to the woods on the other side.  Jamie had been watching from the window and was out on my trail before I knew it. 

If there’s one thing I like better than fresh rabbit, it’s peanut butter.  When Jamie ran outside, he grabbed a jar of peanut butter first, and thus lured me fairly quickly back to him.  He snapped on the lead and we burst back into the house.  Mom took one look at me and said a bad word.  The snow has been melting and I was covered in thick mud from muzzle to tail!

Mom dragged me upstairs to the bathroom, where Dad was making some big decisions.  She pounded on the door and said that she had an emergency.  Dad said, “Another skunk?” But then he took a look at me and said, “She’s a Dirty Bullet.  I’ll start the water.”  Oh, no!  Another bath!  I definitely did not want it!

While Mom got things ready, Dad held my lead and before you could say, “Easter bunny!” I was soaking wet and very miserable.  Mom does give a good bath though, despite the fact that I started smelling like skunk again (water reactivates the oils).  It was also not my fault that I moved and the hand-held shower slipped, spraying Mom fully in the face and soaking all her clothes.  Mom said another funny word. 

Soon I was out and, sans collar, running around the house.  I took up my sentry position at the front window and saw…the rabbit!  “Oh, shut up already!” Mom said. 

I can’t believe it!

Woof!  Love, Maggie

2/21/14 A Great Day…Until I Got Sprayed

I had a wonderful, great day today…until I got sprayed by that skunk.

Dad had come home from work and my humans were thinking of taking in a late movie, (“Robocop”).  Mom thought I might need to go outside for a quick “p” before they left.  She let me out with instructions to Dad to let me in, and then lock the door, and went upstairs to put on her new lipstick. 

Mom was halfway down the stairs when all h-e-double-hockey-sticks broke loose.

The little furry thing I was going to bring in to Mom as a gift made a growling sound and then sprayed me right in the face!

I banged into the house, slamming the door into the wall behind me.  Dad (who can’t smell anything) let out a bellow that, “I think the dog got skunked!!!”  Mom came running the rest of the way down the stairs, and I had my blanket in a stranglehold, rubbing my right eye on it to get the burn out.  I also rubbed my face on all the carpets before Mom could frog-walk me into the bathroom to give me a quick inspection (no noticeable oils on my body or anywhere but my eye) and a shove into the walk-in shower. 

Quickly sudsing me up with two Oatmeal baths (and being very careful about my eyes), Mom shouted to Dad and Jamie to go the store and get some carpet cleaner, a new blanket, and any deodorizing treatment they could find.  Mind you, they have gallons of the stuff at Capital Dog Food, but by now it was 10:20 p.m. and Wal-Mart was the only game in town.

Jamie, who made a quick appearance in the bathroom with a napkin rubber-banded over his nose and mouth as an improvised gas mask, apologized to Mom from between the tissue that he couldn’t be of more help, but was wheezing.  Mom dismissed him with a curt nod.

After my two baths, Mom set about deodorizing the house, and I can tell you, it still smells despite her efforts.  She also gave me a few deep sniffs and ascertained that it was my face that still smelled like burning plastic.  Mom also gave me some Benadryl in a teaspoon of peanut butter to help with my irritated eyes.  She said she didn’t know if it would do anything but calm me a bit, but she had to do something.  And to tell the truth, I did feel better after it kicked in.

The guys came back, and I was corralled upstairs to the shower again.  I got another bath (this time with a 3-in-1 Odor Removing Shampoo) and for this round, Dad came in to help.  Mom already had me good and wet and was scrubbing my back when she asked Dad to  get her a washcloth for my eyes so she could wash my face well.  Dad hemmed and hawed, and said, “What kind of washcloth?”  By now the soapy water was running down my snout and Mom screamed, “Any washcloth!  Just get me a !@#&(! washcloth! The soap is going in her eyes!” 

Under this intense pressure, Dad tripped over the remaining bath mat, nearly putting his head through the closed bathroom door, and finally managed to right himself to give Mom the washcloth.  Mom turned to Dad and said, “No offense, but you’d make a really !@#tty battlefield nurse!”  I was appalled at Mom’s sailor mouth but she ended up collapsing in laughter.

Now, I am clean, my collar is hanging up to dry, I’m relaxed from the Benadryl, and Mom has cleaned the carpets, taken a shower herself, and is doing numerous loads of laundry.  Dad is getting ready for bed.  Jamie has un-rubberbanded his face.  All is quiet.

Do you see the extents I go to, to keep my family home from the movies?  Sheesh!



10/6/13 To Finish My Story…

Now to get back and finish my story without interruptions.  Jamie hasn’t had a relapse, so I am supposing all systems are go here for me to finish the story of my return home after the escape from the back yard.

So…I ran all around the woods and the swamp, and returned sheepishly home.  As I mentioned, Mom cleaned me off and hauled me to the Vet.  Dr. W.  tch-tched over all my cuts and scratches (there were 2″ thorn trees in the woods – ouch) and Poison Ivy.  I don’t think I got Poison Ivy but I am broken out with little spots on my back from an allergic reaction to all the plant growth.  Dr. W. gave me a HUGE shot in the butt.  This one hurt!  I actually turned around and snapped a bit!  Then of course I kissed his hand and wagged my tail.  Dr. W. said that the shot was for all the allergies that were acting up and that it should make me feel better right away.

Dr. W. also gave Mom a big bottle on antiseptic shampoo and antiseptic flush for the cuts and scratches.  Then he told Mom to give me a bath every 2 or 3 days, no blow dryer (yay!) and to let the shampoo sit for a few minutes – and that THAT would be the trick.

So, we went home, and Mom and Jamie prepared to give me a bath. First they cleaned out Dad’s walk-in shower.  Then Mom started the hand-held shower head and let the water get to the perfect temperature.  Finally, she and Jamie led me into the bathroom, into the water, and removed my collars.

Surprisingly, I didn’t give Mom too much of a hard time.  I was pretty submissive during the bath.  Mom scrubbed and Jamie held the shower head.  When Mom soaped me up, I shook hard all over.  Dr. W. was right.  It’s hard to keep the shampoo in!  Jamie didn’t get wet, but Mom got a good soaking.

When I came out of the shower, Mom towel-dried me and I really liked that.  Mom flushed the cuts with antiseptic and it didn’t sting.  Then they let me walk around until I was dry, without my collars.  Jamie said I looked funny without my “bling” on. 

After the Vet visit and the bath, I’m feeling better.  And I haven’t run away since.

Love, Maggie

9/28/13 Blabbity Blabbity Blab…

Razzum snazzum…computer issues all day!  Finally get to post.

I did not go to Obedience School this morning.  Mom spent all morning in the bathroom.  I kept looking at her like, “We are supposed to be somewhere!!” but…there’s an Imodium joke here somewhere.  Seriously, there must be something “going around”, with Mom and Jamie taking turns getting sick.   I hope my humans are all better soon.  Next Saturday, Jamie and Mom are supposed to run a 5K.  So I have to make up my classes during the week.  Say, what’s a 5K anyway?  Five different kinds of Kibble?  I want to go and sample the Kibble!

Anyway, this morning was kind of blah with us not going anywhere.  I kind of felt like Ms. Play Hooky: 



Then the doorbell rang and joy oh joy oh joy, it was Max from the Aussie Pet Mobile come to give me an oatmeal bath!  Max is, paws-down, the nicest groomer around these parts.  And hoo-boy, did I need that bath!  I had been rolling around in the crop circle left behind by the swimming pool and I was ripe even by my standards!  Now I’m clean and fresh:


Although I will admit that I look a bit like “Courage the Cowardly Dog” in the above picture.  What with it looking like my head is ten sizes too big and all.  But you can see how sparkly-clean I am!

The day had definitely taken an upward turn.  Then Mom baked the Peanut Butter Puppy Poppers.  And the day improved some more!  The only difference in the recipe was that Mom didn’t roll out the dough; she shaped them exactly like human peanut butter cookies.  I have to say, the house smelled fabulous and the treats are outstanding.  Mom says these are a great improvement on the liver biscuits she used to bake the Three Greyhounds.  She says they loved the treats, but it made them all gassy at the same time – someone open a window just at the memory!


(The delicious treats)

Then I kind of had a letdown.  I saw Mom’s Halloween costume.  (I know, it’s early, but these people like to be prepared).  I was having a nice chew on my latest indestructible toy when she came downstairs dressed as a –

Black Cat!  Heaven forbid!  My canine reputation is at stake, here!  I avoided eye contact with her, but she noticed and reminded me that I have to wear the “Rufferee” costume.  Now I don’t know which one is worse!

Anyway, everyone is in a Fall mood.  Besides the Peanut Butter Puppy Poppers, the house smells like pumpkin candles.  Which, I have found, are quite tasty, once you get the cardboard box out of the way.  Mom says I am going to make myself sick and put the candles on a shelf. 

I wonder exactly how high I can jump…

Woof!  Love, Maggie