I had a wonderful, great day today…until I got sprayed by that skunk.
Dad had come home from work and my humans were thinking of taking in a late movie, (“Robocop”). Mom thought I might need to go outside for a quick “p” before they left. She let me out with instructions to Dad to let me in, and then lock the door, and went upstairs to put on her new lipstick.
Mom was halfway down the stairs when all h-e-double-hockey-sticks broke loose.
The little furry thing I was going to bring in to Mom as a gift made a growling sound and then sprayed me right in the face!
I banged into the house, slamming the door into the wall behind me. Dad (who can’t smell anything) let out a bellow that, “I think the dog got skunked!!!” Mom came running the rest of the way down the stairs, and I had my blanket in a stranglehold, rubbing my right eye on it to get the burn out. I also rubbed my face on all the carpets before Mom could frog-walk me into the bathroom to give me a quick inspection (no noticeable oils on my body or anywhere but my eye) and a shove into the walk-in shower.
Quickly sudsing me up with two Oatmeal baths (and being very careful about my eyes), Mom shouted to Dad and Jamie to go the store and get some carpet cleaner, a new blanket, and any deodorizing treatment they could find. Mind you, they have gallons of the stuff at Capital Dog Food, but by now it was 10:20 p.m. and Wal-Mart was the only game in town.
Jamie, who made a quick appearance in the bathroom with a napkin rubber-banded over his nose and mouth as an improvised gas mask, apologized to Mom from between the tissue that he couldn’t be of more help, but was wheezing. Mom dismissed him with a curt nod.
After my two baths, Mom set about deodorizing the house, and I can tell you, it still smells despite her efforts. She also gave me a few deep sniffs and ascertained that it was my face that still smelled like burning plastic. Mom also gave me some Benadryl in a teaspoon of peanut butter to help with my irritated eyes. She said she didn’t know if it would do anything but calm me a bit, but she had to do something. And to tell the truth, I did feel better after it kicked in.
The guys came back, and I was corralled upstairs to the shower again. I got another bath (this time with a 3-in-1 Odor Removing Shampoo) and for this round, Dad came in to help. Mom already had me good and wet and was scrubbing my back when she asked Dad to get her a washcloth for my eyes so she could wash my face well. Dad hemmed and hawed, and said, “What kind of washcloth?” By now the soapy water was running down my snout and Mom screamed, “Any washcloth! Just get me a !@#&(! washcloth! The soap is going in her eyes!”
Under this intense pressure, Dad tripped over the remaining bath mat, nearly putting his head through the closed bathroom door, and finally managed to right himself to give Mom the washcloth. Mom turned to Dad and said, “No offense, but you’d make a really !@#tty battlefield nurse!” I was appalled at Mom’s sailor mouth but she ended up collapsing in laughter.
Now, I am clean, my collar is hanging up to dry, I’m relaxed from the Benadryl, and Mom has cleaned the carpets, taken a shower herself, and is doing numerous loads of laundry. Dad is getting ready for bed. Jamie has un-rubberbanded his face. All is quiet.
Do you see the extents I go to, to keep my family home from the movies? Sheesh!