1/24/15 Big Toy

Mom and Jamie went out and bought me a Big Toy. It’s a very large tennis ball on a tough, knotted rope. I am loving it and having a fun time!

We got up to the 40’s the last couple of days, and most of the snow melted. Then it froze, so now the backyard has a thick coating of ice in spots.

I could hear a cat in the woods meowing her head off. I’ve seen her around lately. She’s a feral cat, and we think she is in heat. Mom throws chicken scraps out for the cats. I get jealous of that.

Anyway, I could hear her before the humans heard her, so I pretended like I had to use the bathroom. Once they opened the back door, I ran out through the sweet spot in the fence and into the woods to give chase to the cat.

Jamie jammed his shoes on his feet and tried to catch me, but the ice in the yard confounded him. He was persistent though, and found me on the other side of the swamp. Foiled again!

Mom was angry, and told me to lie down. She says that in the spring, they are going to reinforce the fence.

I am going to lie down for a while and then try to coax Mom with the Big Toy and a friendly game of tug-o-war.

Woof! Love, Maggie

PS – I think I frightened off the cat.

9/27/14 The Doggie In the Woods

It was a beautiful morning. Since Mom went to bed early, she got up with the sunrise. I got  up with  her. The sky was light blue with pretty pink clouds, or so Mom said. The dew was on the grass. Everything was peaceful. Mom had some early morning coffee and gave me a pat.

After Dad had woken up, the sun was already up. The grass was still wet, though, and I danced at the back door to go out. Mom checked the yard and all looked well, so she let me go. However, there was someone or something in the woods, and soon I was rocketing up and down the border.

Dad came out of the house to retrieve me. When I saw him coming, I dashed headfirst through the fence and popped into the woods. Who cares that I’d had a bath yesterday?

Dad quickly gave pursuit. He was dressed in his good clothes because he had a business call this morning. Mom and Jamie ran out in their pajamas. Mom had the leash in her hand. They all three separated and ran after me.

I, however, was deep into the woods after the dog scent that I had picked up. Unfortunately, the dog was big, and a German Shepherd, to boot. Mom crashed through the underbrush and came face-to-face with the big Shepherd. She did not realize he was (thinly) fenced in and she high-tailed it out of there, snagging herself all over with thorns. Mom screamed for Dad to catch me because she was terrified of a dog fight. I wheeled around the other way through the branches and mud and came out after Dad. Jamie was off somewhere else. Mom angrily snapped the leash on me and dragged me back into the house. Jamie met up with us there. He was quite shaken.

Mom and Dad both informed me, in no uncertain terms, that I had been a Bad Dog and that it was a Close One. I guess things have been going well for me lately, and so I was bound to mess it up. Mom says I am not going to be free in the backyard for even one minute now.

I went upstairs and sulked all day. Maybe you can find me amongst the pillows.

Humbug!

Woof! Love, Maggie

 

3/9/14 The Dirty Bullet

Let me start out by saying, “It wasn’t my fault.”

I did not tell that rabbit to park his fuzzy-tailed behind on my (MY!!!) front lawn last night.  And even though I barked and barked and barked my head off at him from the big window in the dining room, he just stared at me and didn’t move.  What cheek!

I hadn’t forgotten about the rabbit today.  So, while Mom was at a meeting, Dad let me out in the back and I picked up the scent. 

Pretty soon I was running back and forth “border patrol” style by the fence, hot on my quarry.  Dad shouted at me to come back into the house, but I ignored him.  That was a mistake, because Dad is the Alpha and he came out with my lead and got me, and promptly popped me into the crate.  I knew it was coming because I didn’t listen.  Mom came home and was very surprised when I did not greet her because I was doing time.

Mom let me out after checking with Dad.  I was still feeling feisty and grabbed one of Dad’s shoes and ran upstairs with it.  Jamie is getting quick these days, and in short order had the shoe back in his hand.  More dirty looks from Dad.  They didn’t understand that I was pretending the shoe was the rabbit.  He was still fresh in my mind!

After a quick dinner, Mom scouted (as best she could, humans can’t see well in the dark – poor things) out the back yard and told Jamie, “She’s got to have a potty break but I don’t want her chasing that rabbit!”  Mom let me out and I took care of business quickly, then sniffed around and shot through the fence to the woods on the other side.  Jamie had been watching from the window and was out on my trail before I knew it. 

If there’s one thing I like better than fresh rabbit, it’s peanut butter.  When Jamie ran outside, he grabbed a jar of peanut butter first, and thus lured me fairly quickly back to him.  He snapped on the lead and we burst back into the house.  Mom took one look at me and said a bad word.  The snow has been melting and I was covered in thick mud from muzzle to tail!

Mom dragged me upstairs to the bathroom, where Dad was making some big decisions.  She pounded on the door and said that she had an emergency.  Dad said, “Another skunk?” But then he took a look at me and said, “She’s a Dirty Bullet.  I’ll start the water.”  Oh, no!  Another bath!  I definitely did not want it!

While Mom got things ready, Dad held my lead and before you could say, “Easter bunny!” I was soaking wet and very miserable.  Mom does give a good bath though, despite the fact that I started smelling like skunk again (water reactivates the oils).  It was also not my fault that I moved and the hand-held shower slipped, spraying Mom fully in the face and soaking all her clothes.  Mom said another funny word. 

Soon I was out and, sans collar, running around the house.  I took up my sentry position at the front window and saw…the rabbit!  “Oh, shut up already!” Mom said. 

I can’t believe it!

Woof!  Love, Maggie

10/3/13 Let Me Explain…

As you can imagine, I have been in Big Trouble since running away.  But I wasn’t gone for long!  That’s probably not cutting it, so let me explain.

It all started on Sunday, when Dad and Jamie fixed the fence.  I did my usual activities in the yard, flashmobbed the two workers, and played with Mom.  Everything fine as normal.

Monday and Tuesday, I spent a lot of time in the yard under Mom’s supervision.  She noticed that I was patrolling the fence.  Dad said he thought he had fixed all the spots and we would find out.  We did.

The fence is easy to manipulate.  It’s your typical, 4.5 foot chain-link fence, and if I take off at a run, I can usually bend a hole in the bottom of the fencing to escape.  Dad and Jamie had pounded tent stakes into the holes I had made in the fence, thereby sealing off my means of egress and firming up the bottom.

So late Tuesday afternoon, after studying the fence intently, I found a weak spot.  And, while Mom and Jamie watched from the front of the yard and before they could react, I backed up, took off with my powerful hind legs and Hairy Bullet-ed that fence.  I was free!

I have previously explained that our backyard is shaped like a slice of pie and slants upward to a small hill.  On the right (from the back door) are our neighbors, and to the left, is the woods.  Which is right next to the swamp, bordering our cul-de-sac in the front.  The neighbors put up a wooden fence, and the chain link is next to the woods.  So, into the woods I shot.

Mom and Jamie ran after me, calling me and pleading for my return.  In hindsight, it is not that I bolted out of the yard where I fell down in this story.  It’s when Jamie and Mom split up, Jamie to the swamp, Mom to the woods, and I SAW HER and SHE SAW ME and I RAN THE OTHER WAY…that’s where it got ugly.

Through the woods!  And the Poison Ivy!  And the trees with the thorns that are 2″ long!  Once I hit the swamp grass, which is dry because we haven’t had rain lately, but is about 3.5 feet tall, Mom couldn’t see me anymore.  Neither could Jamie.  All I’m going to say is, I didn’t realize that we had horses so close to us!  (They live on the other side of the swamp.)

Jamie trudged unhappily to the front of the house in defeat, and Mom ran in to call the Police and Animal Control.  Soon, however, I had had enough of Maggie’s Day Out and wearily walked across the front lawn, and allowed Jamie to grab my collar.  He hollered out that he had me just as the Operator was answering Mom’s call.

Mom was…blisteringly angry at me on so many levels!  Not so much that I escaped the yard, but that I did not respond to commands.  “What am I spending every !@#$ing Saturday at !@#$ing Obedience School with this ^&*(# dog for if she is NOT going to listen when it counts?!!” She explained to me that a Pit Bull running loose is not a smart idea, and that I could have been shot on sight (people don’t understand that I jump when I’m being friendly), also that they are just trigger-happy when it comes to Pits.  Or that a coyote could have gotten me – they grow large around here, and we have a pack of them in the woods – or someone could have picked me up, or I could have gotten Poison Ivy, or  trapped in the mud…you get the idea, Mom felt I was in danger.  And I put myself there just for fun.

Mom cleaned me up and put the training collar on me and the chain lead.  Now I rattle when I walk.  (She would use the nylon lead but I chew them up).  Mom wants to be able to stop me quickly if I do anything suspicious.  I also had to go to the Vet for a checkup, a shot, and get a bath.  But those are other posts.  I just wanted to tell everybody that I had a serious lapse of judgment, and I’m sorry. 

Last night, Mom finally cooled off a little and when I jumped into bed, I cautiously leaned up next to her.  She pat me on the back and I knew all was forgiven.  I gave a loud groan, rolled over onto my side, and pressed the entire length of my body up against her.  I sighed very loudly when Mom draped her hand across me.  Dad chuckled in the darkness and said, “It’s good to be on Mom’s Good Side!”

He’s right.

Love, Maggie

8/16/13 Hot Wheels (aka Grand Theft Maggie)

Tomorrow is Jamie’s birthday, so Mom was cleaning the house rather frantically today.  I watched her suspiciously as she ferreted Vacuum Cleaner out of the closet.  I was ready.  Before she even plugged my Evil Nemesis in, I charged the dust bag with mouth wide open.  Abruptly, I found myself sitting in my crate, helplessly watching as Mom dragged the whiny machine around.  Foiled again!

After Mom had cleaned off and dusted the table, Jamie took the opportunity to set up an entire Hot Wheels Race Track complete with jump and those luscious miniature cars.  I skulked in the living room, but stalked him secretly.  When a car jumped off the track and hit the kitchen floor, I was on it like a hobo on a ham sandwich (no offense to any hobos or ham sandwiches!).  Ears  up, tail waving, I scurried upstairs with my captured quarry.  Jamie pounded along in hot pursuit, chasing me down the hallway!  “Drop it!  Drop it!” he shouted.  I could have run, or chewed the car to bits, but I did “drop it” for him.  Only to go back downstairs to snag another Hot Wheel as it bit the dust.

I love race day!  Bring on NASCAR!  Woof!

Love, Maggie