Tag Archives: chew

8/6/13 The Scene of the Crime

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My hapless victim, The Leash

Today, Erik came over to do Mom’s hair, and, as usual, I was transported in joy.  Erik is one of my very favorite humans, and he has such a good dog smell, too.  I was jumping by leaps and bounds, and Mom and Erik were telling me, “Off!” (the command from Canine College).  However, I did not want to “Off!”  I wanted to be “On!” and acted accordingly.

Mom had the training collar on me and the leash.  They told us in school that if the dog is supervised, to keep (her) on the collar and leash, and let the dog drag it around the house.  The idea is to be able to “correct” the dog’s misbehavior with a tug.  So Mom has been following instructions, and I’ve been dragging the leash around.

I got a bit put out with being told to, “Sit!” and “Off!” and the occasional tug when I was feeling so exuberant.  So, I sneaked up to the landing of the stairs as if I were taking a nap, hunkered down, and chewed the leash in half. 

Then, triumphant, I came trotting downstairs, tail waving proudly, and jumped on Erik.

Mom is VERY upset with me.  She says we can use the small leash from the animal shelter, but she has to buy a new one.  Probably chain instead of fabric.

Muahahaha!

Woof!

Love, Maggie

6/1/13 Rain, Go Away!

I think all this rain is making my people act a little silly.  For one thing, they are laughing at everything, even if it’s not even funny.  They must need to run around a little bit.

Take the rake, for example.  Mom had a small rake against the house.  I decided to investigate and dragged it out.  Then it was bigger than I thought, so I dropped it.  Later on, I saw it again, and decided it was an intruder in the yard, and went into my “guard dog” stance, standing over it and barking and barking.  Jamie and Mom watched from the window, and thought this was hilariously funny for absolutely no reason at all.

Mom put the rake back against the house, but by then I’d figured out it was no big deal and dragged it out again a few minutes later.  I dragged it around a while, until I heard them laughing, saying, “Look, she’s raking up the yard!”  More laughter.  I really didn’t see what was so funny about this, even if I did have the rake in my mouth by the handle.

Next, there was the stick incident.  All dogs like to chew on sticks and I am no exception.  So I found myself a stick – it was easy to find, with all the sticks and stuff having been knocked down with the rain – and settled down in the wet grass for a nice chew.  However, first I lay across the rake to make sure HE wasn’t going anywhere.  Then I started in on a lovely chew.  Quite satisfying.  However, the next thing I knew, Jamie and Mom are at the back door, roaring with laughter, and I hear them say, “Other dogs pick up a stick, our dog picks up a tree branch bigger than my arm!” and, “Look, she’s chewing half a tree!”

Really, I don’t see what’s so funny.  I think the rain is making my people act as bad as the squirrels!

5/22/13 The Sticks

I will never understand my people!  They are so confusing.  Laurel came today and we went on a really long walk.  It was great!  I had never been so far around the neighborhood!  I saw and smelled everything, and when I got tired Laurel started repeating words to me like she has been doing, so I learn them.  I guess if I’m not a little tired, they don’t sink in.  I’m OK with all that.

The part I don’t understand is my own humans at home!  Mom and Jamie got into their messy clothes and went to the “gym” again.  From what I understand, they get their exercise there, and have – get this – a Master there!  My master has a Master!  Then they come home hot and sweaty and instead of lying on the floor, they hit each other with these soft sticks that I would love to get a chew on, but they always say, “No girl, not the sticks” whenever I get a sniff in.  I don’t get it!  Why do they hit each other?  When the dog next door and I growled and barked at each other, they told us we were “bad dogs” (we’ve since made friends).  But then Jamie and Mom whack each other with the soft sticks and laugh all about it!  I can’t think anymore.  It hurts my head!