Maggie has been sleeping on her blanket all day, and she said I could take over blogging for tonight. So, hopefully, the WP community will get a pleasant surprise: Me!
Today I will be sharing with you a swashbuckling day in the life of myself. You can decide for yourself how much swagger I actually have at the end.
I got up at 7:30 a.m. today to the sound of my Mom’s voice, the jingling of collar tags, and Slurp! a wet flap of leather against my cheek – no, that was just Maggie’s tongue. OK, OK, I’m up already!
I seem to have inherited my Padre’s terminal stiffness because I fumbled around like Frankenstein a little bit, then when my legs finally decided to work, I headed downstairs. I ate a bowl of Apple Cheerios mixed with Double Chocolate Krave. Mmmm, tastes like apples dipped in Nutella. And if that’s not enough to make you hurl, it’s time to get ready for school.
While getting dressed, I listen to a little bit of my favorite band, “Knife Party”, on my new “Beats Mixrs”. I love my headphones. The sound quality is awesome, the bass is beautiful, and…they’re shiny. The kids at school recoil when I tell them that my favorite kind of music is techno and dubstep. They say it’s not real music, that music made with computers is fake, then they turn around and listen to “Rush” or some other oldie. You wouldn’t believe what people say to me about that. But I say, I don’t want to listen to my Grandpa’s music, I’m me.
Not much to say about school today. They announced on the big PA In The Sky that the Honor Society will be selling “Heart Grams”. A Heart Gram is a small piece of cheap construction paper that you send to another student for Valentine’s Day. It also comes with a cheap lollipop, like the kind you get if you’ve been good at the doctor’s office.
I really don’t know if I should send one to anyone. On the other hand, I highly doubt I will get one this year. When it comes to the ladies, I am not a very lucky guy at this point in time. I’m not a mean person, but many of the chicks like the big, (dumb), sweaty guys that really seem to plague our school. These dudes are (drumroll please)…The Jocks. As with most cliche grade school stories, the girls never go for the kind, level-minded nerds like me (until we make a lot of money), but they do go for Jocks.
Sometimes, I’m a bit miffed that my friend Libby isn’t in my class. She and I are like a mirror of each other. Anyway, about making a lot of money…I’m in the running for “First To Be A Millionaire” in the yearbook. The suspense is killing me!
Nothing happened in Math today, which is just as well. Proportions, percentages, and a bunch of other garbage that you probably won’t ever have to use outside of school. Today was also Art Day, so I got to spend forty minutes making decorations for the upcoming Jr. High Dance (which I do not have a date for). I also got to write my name in really snazzy slanty letters that actually looked pretty cool.
I got some papers back and was really bummed about two grades that I got. My parents were OK with it, so it could have been worse. If I wasn’t worried about the Terms of Agreement on WP, I’d have some choice words to say though.
Not much else happened until we were changing classes, and, swept along by what was like a stampede at a concert, I was body-surfed into a slush puddle, nearly slipping and getting trampled. I came out of it OK except for some ice water sloshing into my shoe.
Mom and Maggie came to pick me up from school today and I was really glad to see them. Mom brought me a Capri Sun to drink and I dropped the straw between the mechanical parts of the seat. Drat.
Anyway, to wrap things up: judging by my boring day, my horrid grades, my lack of a date, the hour’s worth of homework, and the fact that I almost died in the Slush Puddle Incident, today could have been worse. Today wasn’t as bad as yesterday, which was much the same, with the addition of getting nailed in the face with a basketball in Gym.
I’m just glad play practice isn’t tonight. We’re doing “Willy Wonka” and I’m an Oompa Loompa. Enough said!