Tag Archives: vacuum

9/7/13 Shocking Shenanigans!

You would not believe the shocking shenanigans that took place in this house last night.

Personally, I’m appalled.  But I’m getting ahead of myself!  Mom invited a friend over to discuss “some business”.  Right before the friend came over, she tossed me in the crate.  “OK,” I thought.  “I won’t be in here too long.”  Soon Mom’s friend arrived and I wanted to get out of the crate really bad and give my usual enthusiastic greeting.  The friend’s name was Matt, and Matt was dressed very nicely and smelled like a good human and had a nice voice.  But Mom didn’t let me out.

Matt had some strange boxes with him and a bag.  I watched from my crate as he put the bag down on the little table and began unpacking the boxes.  My enthusiastic happiness turned to cold-blooded horror when I realized Matt was assembling a vacuum cleaner!

Dear God, a vacuum cleaner salesperson in my house!  And I am trapped in the crate!


(the instrument of torture!)

Soon the demonstration was underway.  The vacuum, called “Kirby”, was turned on and off and on and off as Matt whipped little filter screens in and out of the machine.  Soon I began to pant.  Mom kept telling me, “easy” and “good girl”, until Matt piled some scented foam on the area rug directly in front of me.  THEN I began to gnaw at the sides of my crate until Mom thought I was going to hurt my teeth. 

So, Mom got the chain leash out, and put on my training collar, and made me “sit” while Matt cleaned.  The floor.  The rug.  The ceiling.  Upstairs to Dad’s pillow.  The mattress.  Then the doorbell rang and Adam came in.  Adam is Matt’s boss.  He gave me lots of petting and told Mom his girlfriend has a Bulldog.  I was very, very nervous.  The whole time, the vacuum kept running and running.  I was starting to sweat out my paws.  I could not believe these shenanigans!  I barked at Kirby a couple of times, but I didn’t charge him like I have charged Vacuum Cleaner.  Mom said I was a good girl.  Kirby was so shiny!  And he was everywhere.

Needless to say, Mom LOVED Kirby.  She thought Matt did a really fantastic job with the demonstration.  Mom wanted to buy Kirby, but Dad stepped in and said, “NO.”  Thank goodness for Dad.  I guess guys don’t want a really clean house.  Maybe it smells better to humans to sleep on a dirty pillow, but I don’t know, since I don’t use one. 

All I know is that Kirby is gone and peace is restored to the house. 

Shenanigans!  Woof!  Love, Maggie



9/1/13 A Day of Firsts

The first was a day of “firsts” for me.  I think I’m making great progress!

Dad, Mom, and Jamie had to go to the store.  That usually means it’s crate time for me.  When Dad approached me to put me in the crate, I gave him my most sorrowful eyes and rolled onto my belly, paws up, pleading.  Dad stood there for a minute and announced, “We are leaving her out of the crate and we’ll see how she does.”  So, off to the store they went.  Dad ended up making his Gourmet Spaghetti for the first (and last) time.  He left a monumental mess, and Mom spent most of the night and the next morning in the bathroom.  But, I digress!

I am proud to announce that I didn’t chew anything up and I didn’t pee or worse on the floor.  All I did was a little…stress eating.  The half opened can of dog food I found was tasty, and the home made banana bread that was foolishly left on the counter was absolutely delicious.  I did test out the furniture a bit.  Springy!  When my people came home, they found paw prints on the chair, ottoman, and couch.  Finally, I jumped on the back door and threw the deadbolt, so that my people couldn’t get back into the house without their key.  Mostly, I behaved though, and despite a little garbage strewn around, Mom said she considered it to be a successful outing.  More successful than the spaghetti dinner!

It was also the first time I allowed Mom to vacuum undisturbed.  Part of the credit goes to Dad, who distracted me with my toy when Mom first plugged in my Old Nemesis.  By the time I realized that Vacuum was sucking up all my fine shreds of toys and dog hair, I was slightly worn out and decided he wasn’t worth chasing.  I got a lot of praise for this!

Not chasing Vacuum?  I guess there is a first time for everything!

Woof!  Love, Maggie



5/29/13 The Spice Cabinet

Today was cloudy and hot and I can feel the rain coming again soon.

Mom took me for a walk this morning.  She was dressed nice, so I knew something was up, that she was probably going somewhere and I was going to be locked in the crate.  But all morning, even though she had Air Conditioner on, she left the back door open for me so I could walk through the screen into the yard (which is nice and muddy) all I wanted.  I can’t see Air Conditioner.  He barks one time before he turns on, then he cools off the whole house and makes it not sticky.  So he’s OK with me.

For a little while, the sun came out, and when it did, I went out and lay in the backyard and just soaked it in.  Mom said this was “huge” for me, because I went out and stayed out by myself.  I’ve been home for 2 1/2 weeks.  Mom was super happy and says I am coming along great.  Mom says we have to work on my jumping (I jump a lot, and can clear a foot, foot and a half with my strong hind legs) and the “I-can’t-be-left-alone-out-of-the-crate” thing.

In a little while, Mom tried to get me into the crate with a big Rawhide, but I wasn’t going.  I dropped to my belly and refused to get in.  Finally, she gave up and left, telling me I’d better behave while she was gone.

Never has the turn-around spice cabinet in the kitchen looked so good.  Even though I had the Rawhide to keep me company, I still raided the spice cabinet and dragged out bags of flour, sugar, nuts, gravy mix, chili seasoning, pepper, spices, and chocolate.  Something told me not to eat the chocolate, so I didn’t.  But I sampled everything else!  I took all the black peppercorns and piled them up in the middle of the floor.  I ripped open as many bags as I could, scattering their contents.  Those grinders for steak seasoning?  Crunchy.  And salty!  I had a field day, then I went to the big living room window to watch when I heard Mom’s little car coming down the street.

Mom was very upset.  I went into my belly crawl.  Mom told Dad something about, “two steps forward, one step back”.  I thought I was going to show Mom a thing or two by not going into my crate, but Mom had a trick or two up her sleeve and I didn’t think she had it in her.  She forced me into my crate, dragged out Vacuum Cleaner, cleaned up the mess, then she set the timer and made me stay in the crate until the timer dinged.  I whined and cried but she said I had to have my punishment.  I lay in my crate and Mom sat on the couch.  Finally, she let me out.  Now I am being very quiet.  Mom is pretty quiet, too.